Your Heart's Desire -or- Developmental Dream Psychology

Coming of Age -or- Rites of Passage

From a developmental psychology perspective when we reach puberty, we begin a journey and a story called "coming of age". As you grow older most of you will come to learn that this stage of life is all part of the generational "rites of passage". From a popular culture perspective there are many films that speak about coming of age. 

When I was growing up, it was the film "The Summer of 42" that spoke to me from a "novel of education" (Bildungsroman) perspective about the experiences of coming of age. The film reflects in the form of a flashback on the heart's desires about growing up and the humorous and tragic experiences in one's youth. Many of my dreams in my note books reflect on my experiences, my education, and my ongoing "artist novel". 

Many dreams sent to the International Institute for Dream Research speak about the "coming of age". The dream below from Bethany is one such dream; 

Bethany, 17 

I keep having these dreams about a guy friend who i've been friends with for about 4 years.  In the dreams, we will be hanging out somewhere, and all of a sudden we will softly kiss. I take a Psychology class, and my teacher says that dreams can tell you a lot about your hearts desires, or things that may actually happen in real life. I keep hoping and thinking that this dream means that this will happen. I really care alot about him, and i have never had any type of sexual dreams about him. What does this dream mean? 

Interpersonal Attraction -or- Hanging Out and Softly Kissing 

In your dream you both seem attracted to each other, in that you "softly kiss". Here's the deal not spoken by me, instead spoken from the perspective of "real boys"; In his book "Real Boys' Voices" William S. Pollack provides an anthology of boys voices. In chapter 15, "Friendships and Romances with Girls", we can find "Max" 17, talking about "HANGING OUT WITH GIRLS"; "Sometimes I can't figure out girls. They'll have things on their mind and expect you to know what it is, but guys don't pick up on these things and become confused." 

Many years ago I read Warren Farrell's "Why Men Are The Way They Are: The Male-Female Dynamic" and at the time it was an "eye opener" for me. One of the "boy meets girl" communication problems, is that traditonally it was the boy who took all the emotional risks in the behavioural sequence of  asking the girl out, to initiating the first kiss...and so on. Your "guy friend" may be scared of romantic rejection, so if you want your dream to come true, it may be up to you to "initiate" the behavioural sequence. Lee Roy Parnell's "Heart's Desire" seems to fit the sentiment of your dream.

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