The Many Faces of Betrayal -or- Character Flaws in Dreams

The Back Stabbers -or- Who Can You Trust?

Betrayal is one of the most difficult emotions to deal with personally as well as from a therapeutic perspective. Below are three dreams that make the emotional problem of betrayal visible.

Here are the dreams;  

Lana, 21

Last night I had a rather disturbing dream...I recently ended a long-term relationship, and I've been seeing a new guy. We've been hanging out a lot with a bunch of friends lately, including two of my best friends. Now, in my dream...I was betrayed by one of my friends, because I found out that she and the guy I'm seeing were making fun of me, and that they were actually together, but that's not all that hurt me, I felt like my friend was actually mean and didn't care about my feelings. Does this mean that I shouldn't trust my friend? Or, that this guy I'm seeing is not what's best for me?

Mr Hagen's Reply: Betrayed by a Friend -or- Callous

In this dream Lana feels betrayed by her friend. At the same time she is questioning whether to "trust" her friend and/or whether her new partner is wrong for her. Lana identifies that not only is the betrayal hurtful, she also identifies her friend having a character flaw in that she is seen as acting un-empathetically. Said differently, Lana feels in the dream that her friend intentionally wanted to hurt her and is being callous.

Juanita, 22 Puerto Rican

These dreams are tearing me apart.  I consistently have dreams of my fiance cheating on me.(We live together for the last 5 years and he takes care of me and his daughter financially while i get my degrees)  Last night I had the worst of them all.  I came home and found him with a famous singer just finishing having sex.  The singer is Ameriie.  Anyway, I walked in as she was pulling up her pantyhose.  I had no conflict with her.  She left without me noticing I guess.  The arguments between me and him began.  Now he's a Gemini.  Gemini's can be very cold hearted, blunt but they also keep you in suspense of not knowing.  They hate to give information.  So he gave me very little.  I was crying and I still wanted to stay with him.  It was difficult to live through the betrayal but i would try.  But he wanted to part ways.  I called friends and family but because it was late at night they seemed very uninterested.  I was alone.  I tried to kill myself in the dream but he stopped me. The dream like the rest felt real, his attitude was exact. 

Mr Hagen's Reply: Betrayed by Your Fiancé -or- Unfaithful with Ameriie

In the second dream Juanita finds her "fiancé" with "Ameriie", which indicates that the betrayal is most likely one that takes place only in his fantasy, perhaps his dreams. And yet, Juanita feels betrayed. Other dreams sent to the International Institute for Dream Research such as "Married -or- Soft Porn" begs the question of where the line of "infidelity" is drawn? The dream appears very "melodramatic" in nature.

Sara Beth, 40 Project Manager

My house is filled up with people who I wouldn't normally associate with and who I don't know.  Some of them are my housekeeper's relatives and I am not pleased that they are in my house.  A former team mate who had betrayed me turns up in the dream and is holding my hand.  She tells me how bright her mother is and her mother has written an article on pricing.  She mentions $60,000.  I am feeling ambivalent about this sudden friendliness from this team mate.

Mr Hagen's Reply: Betrayal and Office Politics -or- The Backstabbers

In the last dream, Sara Beth is feeling ambivalent about a business "team mate", who once betrayed, perhaps "backstabbed" her and is now acting very friendly from a commercial perspective. Is this genuine friendliness, or just one more "office politics" ploy and deception? From a popular music culture perspective the song by the O'Jays "Back Stabbers" (listen to music video) fits the sentiment of the dream.



All material Copyright 2006 International Institute for Dream Research. All rights reserved.